10-26-09 Farewell, Thomas
(Posted: 22:27:26 10/26/2009)
Farewell, Thomas
October 26, 2009
Farewell, Thomas
October 26, 2009
I want to write something that honors one of the formative people in my life.
I want the words to speak of my admiration for the man, the monk, the priest, and the friend I knew in Fr. Thomas Perrier, OSB. Thomas died of a heart attack sometime Sunday or Monday morning. He was 56.
Fr. Thomas and I met when I was a college (seminary) student, around 1980. He sought me out to work with him at Camp Abbey in the summers; he served as camp director and I served as a program manager and assistant director. Even then he (and my friends, Kevin and Paul) poked fun at me about majoring in minor things…a lesson Thomas and I covered on more than one occasion as life’s journey took us around.
Thomas showed up unannounced at my dad’s funeral in 1986. No words were spoken; volumes were said.
Thomas showed up unannounced at my dad’s funeral in 1986. No words were spoken; volumes were said.
He served as my spiritual director in the 90’s while I was working for the Archdiocese of New Orleans. Some of his counsel and stories have become a part of me and even weave their way into my presentations. He has been a big part of the formation of my spirituality.
A wonderful grace for me was this June when I got to make a directed/private retreat with Thomas. We met for an hour a day on the porch of the Christian Life Center (where he served as [retreat] director)…and talked of God ,of being a man and not deluding ourselves. He gave me Scripture passages and we rocked and talked and sat and laughed. He never spoke to me without chewing on the words for himself. I will treasure those conversations. I also treasure the trip into Covington with Kevin and Paul. A sacred meal as always, but now more so in hindsight.
Marlene and I made a quick impromptu visit with him for 20 minutes this summer while in the area. He was bubbly, welcoming, making time to sit and share a cold drink even though he had a big group coming to the retreat center. Marlene was also drawn to his warm spirit.
I last saw Thomas unexpectedly (but now so gratefully) on October 15. He celebrated mass at St. Scholastica Academy. He hadn’t celebrated mass there in years and I was there randomly. We made plans to have lunch on Nov 4. I still plan to have a sandwich for him that day.
He asked me about leading a retreat with him in December. I was looking forward to discussing that. The fact that he trusted me to do that with him is a compliment I will cherish.
Thomas was very self-aware; he didn’t hide behind his roles or titles. He was a man first. He was such a welcoming approachable person, with little pretense. Ask the kitchen staff he worked with, ask the countless married couples and people who sought him out. Ask AJ, the cat who roamed the retreat house. Ask the Teresian sisters and Carmelite sisters who he befriended as chaplain.
Thomas gave witness to the Word of Life. May our brother Jesus welcome him with the delight and joy that Thomas welcomed so many people.
I will miss you friend.
I was sent the lyrics to a song which captured some of the sentiments in my heart (Thanks, “Dash” for sending it to me.).
It's from Wicked: The Musical (the pre-cursor to The Wizard of Oz). The song is called "For Good." In the show, the song is sung by the two sisters (the good witch Glinda and the wicked witch of the west Elphaba - or as I like to call her Alphabet) just before they depart from each other to lead separate lives. For the record, I am NOT calling either of you witches, but maybe you were close like siblings. Maybe you taught each other some great life lessons that neither of you will forget. Thomas may have gone on to Heaven but it sounds like he has forever touched your heart. Please forgive the cheesiness.
“For Good” from Wicked: The Musical
(Elphaba):
I'm limited
Just look at me - I'm limited
And just look at you
You can do all I couldn't do, Glinda
So now it's up to you
For both of us - now it's up to you...
(Glinda):
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good
(Elphaba):
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
(Glinda):
Because I knew you
(Both):
I have been changed for good
(Elphaba):
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for
(Glinda):
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share
(Both):
And none of it seems to matter anymore
(Glinda):
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
(Elphaba):
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood
(Both):
Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better
(Glinda):
And because I knew you...
(Elphaba):
Because I knew you...
(Both):
Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good...